Skullcap Manna

Here are some recipes you can count on when your single, broke, alone and or searching for yourself somewhere on the West Coast, and can only rely on that which is found cheaply in those parts.

Skullcap Manna: Boil down for three hours the shells of various mollusks; that of mussels, a pound, and of clams and crab, not oysters, but conch if you can get it, and one goeduck. Reduce and add paprika, zests of lime and mandarin, ground walnut and minced garlic, both a pound, and sea salt. Simmer with a can of anchovies, oil and all. Serves 6-8.

Rucky Chucky’s Chubby Daughter: Add banana and cream to a blender, then shots of exprexo, chocolate and ice, blend until smooth. Top with whipped cream and syrup. Enjoy with a whole chicken.

Mango Chili Stew: Chop 3 ample mangos and sear, skinless in peanut oil. Then steep in mango ceylon tea for twelve minutes. Add zest of mandarin, anchovy paste, each a pound, and a pound of sea salt, one cup of port and Marsala, a pound of cubed lamb and of peppercorns, a tablespoon. Pressure cook for 2 hours. Garnish with green figs before serving.

Sour Wheat Pain Au Levane! Pinch wet yeast into 2 cups of 71 degree water and the same of 20 percent germ bran flour, stirring vigorously, and store in a cool place in an air tight container, like a stone mason jar with a rubber gasket under the lid. Nourish every week by scooping out a cup and adding equal parts of flour and water. In 2-3 months, take a cup or two and combine with 4 cups of flour and knead. Raise twice and bake loaves at 425 degrees F.

Cowpoke Douche: This is an all purpose wash for extreme outdoor excursions of weeks without showering. Add ammonia to a can of comet, roll into bits of cakey clay with powdered soap and pack tightly into Alumaseal containers for travel. Use: unpack and lave in palm with water, applying to armpits, asshole, and feet. Rinse or wipe with a towel or cloth. Works for washing clothes or repelling ferrel animals.

Ukrainian Angler: Dry and pack tightly twelve fresh trout in virgin olive oil with oyster sauce (a cup) and rosemary. Keep for a winter thus, then spread over fire on a 15 inch frying pan with peppercorns and anchovies, mace, allspice, cloves and bay leaves. Sear on both sides, then hydrate with Chardonnay and whole, skinned peaches. Add yogurt, cottage cheese, and butter and broil for twenty minutes, then serve with the remaining wine.

Rucka Chucky Beef: Grind in a grinder the following: annato seeds, rosemary, peppercorn, whole cumin, parsely, allspice and dill. Dump into a blender with a fine Merlot and an equally fine Port and some water, blend. Chop five pounds of London round into large cubes and place in a container with sald and the blended marinade. Refrigerate overnight. Prepare a poultice of white flour, olive oil and sea salt and toss beef. Brown in a frying pan, then return beef to the marinade and dump the whole quantity into a large ceramic or stone baking pot, lined with banana leaves. Wrap contents tightly and cover, and bake for four hours. Serve with conch fritters, garlic bangers or yams in chip oil.

Octoberfaust or German Schpitzda – a roulade of beef: Butterfly two pounds of London broil and beat flat with a mallot until you’ve covered a large area. Chop a mix of the following: onions, garlic, celery and carrots, into small bits, until you filled a two quart bowl. Season appropriately. Add pounds of ground beef, lamb and chicken and two eggs to the mix, stir, and spread over the broil. Roll tightly, adding sliced Fuji apples at the end, and tie with string. Brown in olive oil, then douche with Port and Marsala and simmer for twenty minutes. Add new potatoes, onions and repeat. Serve with Jewish rye toast, beaters, and a North Coast cab.