New Author Fotos

Allen Ginsberg
“Bearded robots drink from Uranium coffee cups on Saturn's ring. May 1990”
— American Sentences


The ol' bastard who taught his class looked just like this, a true fan. "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps most fatal to true happiness." Bertrand Russell, Nobel Prize 1950

Blog Review from Her Highness

"You are fantastic." - Princess Leah of Aldaraan.

(Princess Leah now secretly works as a barista somewhere in Colorado. A Blog Review from her should be esteemed as highly as the Nobel Prize for Literature, the Pulitzer, or the Nebula Award for Science Fiction.)

life survey (I'll finish the other post later)

Copy and place an X by all the things you've done, or remove the X from the ones you have not, and send it to all of your friends (including me). This is for your entire life.

(x...) Smoked a cigarette
(xxx) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed a friend's car
( ) Stolen a car
(xxxxxx) Been in love
(xxxxxx) Been dumped
(xxxxxxxxxx) Shoplifted candy
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) Been laid off/fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(xxxxxxx) Snuck out of your parent's house
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (one x, because I never asked most of them, so you never know)
( ) Been arrested
( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Lied to a friend (I must have, don't remember though)
(MMXXX) Skipped school (I wonder how it must have sounded to all those people "Sheppard. Sheppard. Sheppard. Sheppard...")
(xx) Seen someone die (seen people get hurt so bad they probably died, but didn't witness the actual dying)
(x, eh) Been to Canada (Canoed there, got out and walked around just to say we'd been. Boundary Waters, MN)
(XX's) Been to Mexico (Again, don't remember, but some think I was born there and was smuggled out)
(x) Been on a plane (see above)
( ) Been lost (told to get lost? xxxxxxx)
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country (been on every side of it)
(x) Gone to Washington, DC (Easy to get lost on them streets - although, if you see above, I've never been lost)
(xxxxx) Swam in the ocean (Both)
(gas-ex) Felt like dying
(xxoo) Cried yourself to sleep (over a girl)
( ) Played cops and robbers (Has anyone ever played this?)
(x) Recently colored with crayons (colored pencils)
(x) Sang karaoke? (Always - Anyone game?)
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins (wouldn't call it a meal, but tortillas are free at Chevy's)
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (Ordered the large)
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (My friend Jason had a Cup-O-Noodles noodle come out of his nose)
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced in the rain (Nope, missed Woodstock by a few years)
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(xyz) Been kissed under the mistletoe (can't remember, but it must have happened once)
( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about (if they cared about you, why did they wake you up?)
(x) Blown bubbles (hell yea, man!)
(x) Made a bonfire on the beach (too many times)
(x) Crashed a party (Haven't we all?)

Any nicknames? (ummmm. Sure.)
any piercing?? (pierced my ear once, mom wouldn't let me in the house with the earring on.)
How much do you love your job? (What's my job?)
What day is it? (Sunday, amen)
Current home? (I live out of my car - haha)
FAVORITE VACATION SPOT: (San Fran, Tahoe)
Ever been to Africa? (Does Suffolk count?)
Ever steal any traffic signs? (Stole an a-frame caution light and used it to pull cars over. Weed does strange things to the 16 year-old mind)
Ever been in a car accident? (A couple)
2 Door or 4 Door? (2 door both times)
Salad dressing? (Salad's bad for you)
Favorite pie? (blackberry, of course - call it a blood thing)
Favorite number? ("5," Speed Racer's number. What kind of name was that anyway? "Speed-Racer" - it's so 2nd language, like #1 Super Great Chinese!!! Hahahahaha.)
FAVORITE HOLIDAY? (Christmas)
Favorite food? (Indian)
Favorite day of the week? (I like Friday, maself)
FavoriteToothpaste? (Tom's All Natural. Hey, what if the whole dental industry was lying to us, and plaque was actually good for your teeth, like a protective layer? I'll get my people right on that one)
Favorite smell? (Spring rain, curry, cut grass, this shirt I found in my suitcase once and realized it was my cousin's girlfriend's but it smelled like WOMAN and I loved it, women.)
What do you do to relax? (sleep; public baths - okay I did once, but they were springs, and coed, and not gay)
A Message to your friends reading this? (Hey y'all, weather's great, be back in a month or so)
How do you see yourself in 10 years? (Thin, married, then fat again - haha)
What do you enjoy receiving? (letters written in big, bubbly girl-hand; Compliments on my writing, actually that one should be first; invitations to exclusive things, that should be first, then compliments, then letters. Money. Wait. Make money second, after compliments, then letters, then invitations.)
Furthest place you will send this message? (you never know with these computer contraptions)
Who will respond the fastest? (I'm putting it on my blog, so the three people who read it will probably respond.)
Least likely to respond? (Everyone else)

Arrived in CA, and...

...everyone's sitting in the same chairs I left them in. However, some chairs are higher and more mighty than before. Case in point: my brother comes up to Mom's waving a DVD called "The Secret," which has no actors, writers, producers or directors written on the DVD case, just "Property of Prime Time International" or some shit. Basically, I'm closed minded, stupid and evil if I don't sit and watch the whole damned thing, so I do, and it's behaviorism repackaged as I suspected, with a huge production budget. It's all stuff I basically agree with - you are what you think, you can create your own attitude, you can visualize success or failure - except they attribute all power to a giant "Universe" where I would call it "God." One reason is "Universe" appeals to a wider audience because it has an all-inclusive, even-sci-fi-nerds-are-welcome, ring. "God" is limited, closed-minded, in-the-box thinking.

The problem is, God created the mind. Some would say we are sustained within God's thoughts, i.e., "in Him we live and move and have our being." And these ideas are not original. They are old as the dirt which now contains most of thier authors. The big appeal with "The Secret" was money. How can I get more money? It's enough that you call your new thing "The Secret..." More later, my brother's coming...

Just Keeping it Real

Dear Princess Leah,

My brother called from California saying, what's new in your life? and I said I'll tell you what's new: I took off my shorts to go to bed and went ahead and dropped my boxers, too, and now am a nude-sleeper. I never knew one change could make such a difference in my overall well being. I have decided to remain a nude-sleeper for the rest of my life!

loneliness

loneliness is like two bullfrogs mating in a dried out creek bed off Mission Boulevard. loneliness reminds me of the big green trout that sat in the same place in Lake Ralphine and wouldn't let anyone catch him no matter what manner of fishing device they used. loneliness is like the man who fished there everyday with corn and ham, by the pier where you rent pedal boats. loneliness is like the day I had to clean up my room and found an old chocolate Easter bunny and took a small bite because it was going to have to last all day. earth is lonely.

Gee, You're So Beautiful That It's Starting To Rain

Richard Brautigan

Oh, Marcia,

I want your long blonde beauty
to be taught in high school,
so kids will learn that God
lives like music in the skin
and sounds like a sunshine harpsicord.
I want high school report cards
to look like this:

Playing with Gentle Glass Things
A

Computer Magic
A

Writing Letters to Those You Love
A

Finding out about Fish
A

Marcia's Long Blonde Beauty
A+!

Dead Author Photos

Dear Leah,

I'm beginning a collection of my favorite authors, or famous ones who aren't necessarily my favorites, in funny or odd positions.

Can you guess who this is?


None other than Pygmalian scribe, George Bernard Shaw. I did a monologue in high school from that play. I was 'Enry 'Iggins, and said something like "the angels will weap for you!" to RaeAnn, a chick I knew from all the way back in kindygarden, who always sort of looked cute and became a cute, teenaged, rocking smoker. RaeAnn played Eloiza Dooli'lle. When it was over, I got much the usual response, but I'll never forget my costar. She was dark and had big brown sad eyes and tiny patterns of black hair coursing all over her skin.

I'd keep writing, but Shaw's buttcrack has turned into a vortex of creativity.

Dear Leah,

This is how my new posts will start, since you're the only one who reads my blog. If anyone else reads, then prove it by leaving a comment!

Dear Leah, I'm planning a trip to California to work for some alarm outfit and tile my mom's bathrooms, which are still under construction after three years. From there to Seattle to hang out and kill salmon, but not before I visit Portland, my someday new town.

Too bad we couldn't all go to the Ren Faire in Larkspur. If I heard all you girls were going in Elizabethan costume, I'd fly back, because oh, the humanity!

Here's a list by Jack Kerouac called

"Belief and Technique for Modern Prose"

1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your
own joy
* 2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
* 3. Try never get drunk outside yr [sic] own house
* 4. Be in love with yr [sic] life
* 5. Something that you feel will find its own form
* 6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
* 7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
* 8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
* 9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
* 10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
* 11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
* 12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
* 13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
* 14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
* 15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
* 16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
* 17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
* 18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
* 19. Accept loss forever
* 20. Believe in the holy contour of life
* 21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
* 22. Dont think of words when you stop but to see picture better
* 23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
* 24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language &
knowledge
* 25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
* 26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
* 27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
* 28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under,
crazier the better
* 29. You're a Genius all the time
* 30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven


Dear Leah, if you prefer to remain anonymous, then leave a COMMENT!!! and I'll address my blog back to my friend, the Middle Distance.

My New Honda Elephant

At least, that's the custom license plate I'm getting.


And this is what I want to do to it....


I almost bought an orange one from the dealer, but it was rough inside, and the salesman was a boner. These guys are all the same. They know nothing about the car they've been selling for three years. They can't answer one question, everything's in the paperwork back in my office, we'll check that out when we get back. It's just a car, man. Let's talk numbers.

The Silver one I had to drive to the 'Springs for, but it was worth the trip. I met a nice young couple and saw their magnificient house and she was hard pressed to let the new car go and settle for their Honda Civic 4wd wagons, both 15 years old.